How Do We Make Sense of A Tragedy?

You don’t have to be a sports fan for the sudden death of Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter to hit you and to hit you hard. You simply have to be human.

When situations like this occur, I am always struck by the search for answers. On the surface, we want to know the details of how it happened and if it could have been prevented. Below that, many of us are asking how; how does a wife recover from losing her husband and oldest daughter? How do the other three girls grow up without their daddy?

And how - now I’m getting personal - do we make sense of such a tragedy? How does a good God allow such horrific things to happen? How does He allow such pain and suffering?

These are the questions I have quietly been asking myself this week as we’ve mourned the loss of a young adult who we have watched grow up. Our hearts ache for her parents and her siblings. Their loss is unfathomable; this is the second child they’ve lost too soon.

During these times, I realize that my typical reactions to these questions and this sadness are despair or distraction. Either I get sucked into a state of complete despair and desperation or I distract myself because the weight of it all is too great to bear.

There’s a better option and I’m working to embrace it. It’s being present with my feelings; acknowledging that because we are created in God’s image, we grieve when we see those we love in pain. Heck, we even grieve for people like Kobe Bryant, who we don’t know. Why? Because the language of grief is universal. We all understand it, if we live long enough.

In addition to recognizing my feelings, I am also learning to lay my thoughts and emotions at the feet of a God who I refuse to think has abandoned us - even when it’s difficult to feel His presence. In these times when the sadness seems to be closing in, I have to constantly renew my mind - focusing on God’s goodness and faithfulness rather than the disorder around us. I have to repeat over and over His promises to us including “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart. I have overcome the world.”

When I can’t make sense of the chaos, I must stay focused on the cross. There I see the greatest act of love and the best evidence of His goodness. There I find hope - for the dead and for those of us left behind.

May God bless and hold tight these and all families who are suffering the loss of someone they love.