Silencing The Inner Critic: Three Tips for Stopping Self-Sabotage

The world is full of critics - including even the most well-intentioned parents, teachers, spouses and friends. There’s no escaping criticism, and undoubtedly, when motivated by the right intentions and delivered with grace, it can even be constructive.

Yet the one critic who is always harsh and rarely has anything positive to say is the critic inside our head. In fact, the self-sabotaging thoughts that come from our inner critic are often the thoughts we hear the loudest, impeding our willingness to take risks and lowering our confidence that we can succeed. 

And if that isn’t bad enough, when repeated long enough, self-sabotaging thoughts can define our realities and shape the way we see ourselves and our lives. The negative feedback loop can create a spiral of destruction that sucks our joy and robs us of the goodness of life.

Ready to start fighting the inner critic and free yourself to replace those negative messages? Here are three tips to help.

Evaluate your media consumption.

Let's face it. By any clinical definition, most of us are addicted to our smartphones.  So what are we looking at all of those countless hours? Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok? Or how about Pinterest, where EVERYTHING is pretty? 

The more we surround ourselves with the highlight reels of people’s best lives, the more we frequently feel like we’re missing out. And why are we missing out? Because we aren’t (fill in the blank). We aren’t deserving of success. We aren’t pretty enough to land the perfect partner. We aren’t good enough parents, creative enough entrepreneurs, smart enough leaders. The list goes on and on. 

Instead of seeing other people’s posts and somehow comparing ourselves and feeding our inner demons, how about we look at them and remind ourselves their post has NOTHING to do with us. Let posts be posts. Let’s try not to connect them to our lives and assess the quality of our life based on other people’s experiences. 

Start somewhere and start today.

Psychologists tell us it’s always easier to change habits when we fill the void we created by stopping a behavior. For example, the next time you’re aware of your inner critic replaying self-sabotaging thoughts (which is a critical part of the process) in your head, stop yourself. Instead of letting it play out, replace it with a positive thought. For example, what is one thing you’re good at? One thing you like about yourself, your abilities, your life? Consider taking this a step further and journal about those things. Flush out what you really like about yourself.

Once we begin considering our gifts and positive attributes, we might just be surprised by how much we actually like what we find.

Write your goodness on your heart.

Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” If you consider yourself a believer and follower of the Bible, then can you also believe this to be true about yourself? Can you find peace and confidence in knowing you are His workmanship; fully known and fully loved. 

For lots of us, this message doesn’t come naturally. It’s one we constantly need reminding of - through The Word and through those around us who also see the good in us that we can’t see for ourselves. Write this reminder and other words of encouragement and stick them up wherever they will sink deep into your being - replacing those thoughts that say you aren’t enough. Because friends, you are.