The Loneliness Epidemic
I recently read a compelling book by New York Times best selling author David Brooks called The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life. Much of the book’s content has given me pause and caused me to think - really think - about what it means to live a meaningful life.
Brooks makes a compelling argument that we have what he calls “a loneliness epidemic in America.”
He argues that as a country, we are lonelier, more detached and less committed to people and causes than we’ve ever been - and that the psychological, social and moral toll of this is horrific. For example:
Since 1999, the U.S. suicide rate has risen by 30 percent, with the greatest increase (70%) coming from those ages 10 to 17.
Roughly 45,000 take their own lives every year, in large part due to their loneliness.
In 2018, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data showed that the life span of the average American had declined for the third consecutive year. The last time the American lifespan contracted for three straight years was 1915 to 1918 - during a world war and a flu pandemic that killed 675,000 Americans.
Brooks goes on to say, “The reason American lives are shorter today is the increase in so-called deaths of despair - suicide, drug overdose, liver problems and so on. And those, in turn, are caused by the social isolation that is all around us.”
Deaths of despair. Let that sit with you for a minute.
Now consider this: According to the Pew Research Center, the vast majority of Americans – 96% – now own a cellphone of some kind. The share of Americans that own smartphones are now 81%, up from just 35% in Pew’s first survey of smartphone ownership conducted in 2011.
The parallel between increased technological availability and increased loneliness and deaths of despair is startling. I’m not smart enough to say if one is causing the other, but - if nothing else - a correlation is obvious.
It seems it’s time to admit that cell phones and the internet, while full of limitless information and entertainment, are lonely. An hour of time on social media or playing a game has become as natural as breathing - but it’s clearly not as life-giving.
I have to admit my default has become to text a friend who I once would have called, listened to her voice and heard all the things that go left unsaid in a text message. I am also guilty of mindlessly sitting beside my husband on the couch flipping from Facebook to Instagram and then to Snapchat, trying to convince him that I am paying attention to what he is saying.
And then I wonder why I sometimes feel so detached from the people I love the most.
Obviously, I’m not suggesting that all cell phone use is bad or that if we all got rid of our social media platforms that deaths of despair would automatically decrease. What I am suggesting is more of a challenge to myself as much as to anyone: Let’s not let online activity replace offline connections. Let’s not be so distracted by the screen that we don’t have time for our neighbor, our co-worker or the person in front of you at the grocery store or across the table at dinner.
God created us in His image, which means we won’t be whole unless we are having intimate connections with Him and other believers. So, join me and let’s stop trying to shove our cell phones in the God-shaped hole in our hearts that He created for our enjoyment and His glory. We were made for more.