Back To School - Silence is Golden, or is it?

There is a deafening quiet in our house tonight. It is, simply put, bittersweet.

Tom and I always joked with our kids throughout their childhood, “We are raising you to leave.” It was funny then. Now, with mission accomplished, not so much. As the summer comes to a close, Matt - like many of your kids or grandkids - has returned to school. And here I am, having sent my “babies” off to school now for more than 20 years, wondering where the days have gone and what the future holds for us all.

You would think I would be good at this letting go stuff by now. After all, Madison lives independently in Kansas City and Matt has come and gone to college numerous times. None of it is new - this empty house, or the empty feeling that comes with it.

Don’t get me wrong. I celebrate my kids’ lives and I want nothing more than for them to flourish in what God has set apart for them and their future. It’s what is supposed to happen. It’s natural and good. In fact, I remember when Matt was in treatment and couldn’t return to college. The countless back-to-school pictures and their corresponding laments that flooded social media completely infuriated me. “Your kids are the lucky ones,” I would scream in my head. “Your healthy kids GET to go back to school.”

I’ve come to see that letting go is a privilege, but that doesn’t mean it is easy. Whether they are heading off to kindergarten or college, letting go of the people we treasure most is challenging. I often think back to the wisdom of the old 38 Special song that said, “Hold on loosely but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you’re going to lose control.” 

I think God would agree with 38 Special and tell us to love and treasure the gift of our children. But I also think he would say not too cling too tightly to anything other than Him, which if we’re being honest, can be really hard for us as parents. Maybe it’s because we worry about their safety. Maybe because we fear losing our influence in their lives. Or maybe, if we can admit it, it’s because we are afraid of losing our purpose in life. 

All of this is why Back to School season offers an opportunity for us to reset our priority on Him. A new schedule and routine, an empty house; it all allows us to set new disciplines in place. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be provided to you.” As we create new normals this fall, let’s consider putting first things first. 

Join me as I try to refocus my mind and heart, knowing that I was created first and foremost for HIM! Let’s fill the quiet hours and days with worshipping the King and allow the silence with the Spirit to transform us.