Do You Know How to Love Yourself?
Some days are just hard. There’s no sugar-coating it. And sometimes the hard days seem to string together what becomes a hard week or even a difficult month.
I’ve been in one of these hard seasons for a bit. And despite my promise to make this a place for real, transparent sharing of our brokenness, this is still difficult for me to admit.
The last several weeks have been full of activities, deadlines, travel, and oh yes, painting our house (I talked about this “little” project in a Live feed a few weeks back). None of these things independently would have gotten me off-center, but somehow collectively, they have. I have felt like I’m running on fumes and it’s made everything, including my writing, more difficult.
The tricky part about seasons like this, at least for me, is that they always surprise me. In typical Robin May fashion, I overestimate my ability to get things done and underestimate the energy and time these things will demand. Before I know it, my cup is empty. I’ve unsuspectingly poured myself out and am in crisis because I have nothing left to give.
This week a friend sent me a picture of herself snuggled up at Barnes and Noble with a stack of books on one side and a coffee on the other. The caption simply read, “Heaven.” I replied to her, telling her how happy I was that she had found a moment and a method for self-care; for filling up her cup.
And then it hit me: I suck at self-care! Do I even know how to fill my cup? Do I know how to replenish myself so that I can execute from a point of overflow rather than trying to give something I don’t have?
With the help of a relaxing pedicure, a moving chapter of Where the Crawdads Sing and a long, hot bath, I began to sense God whispering in my ear. I heard him reminding me that He is my fuel source. I heard him gently asking me if I’ve let these other activities crowd Him out. I heard him reminding me that He is constant and His love and affection for me are unchanging. He is there ready to breathe life back into my dry bones and my achy soul.
Phillipians 4:13 says I can do all things THROUGH Christ who strengthens me. Why do I so often forget that last part? Why do I act like I’m an athlete in a Nike commercial? I cannot just do it. I need Him. He is the power source that enables me to accomplish all that He’s set before me.
Do you know how to fill your tank? Do you notice when your gas light comes on or do you just keep going and run on fumes? I would really love to know what self-care disciplines work for you. I’ll take all the help I can get on this one.