Uncertain Certainty
Last week I had an early morning appointment in Kansas City. Like many mornings, I was headed west on Interstate 70 in the dark on this cold and quiet winter morning. As I navigated traffic on the bridge that spans across the Missouri River, a quick glance in my rearview mirror caught my attention. The sun was rising in the east sky behind me and it was absolutely breathtaking!
Hues of orange and pink stretched across the horizon like a warm embrace. It reminded me of Psalm 19:1, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” God wasn’t just proclaiming his glory with this sunrise - he was showing it off! I couldn’t help but be in awe of God and thank Him for this reminder of His love and power.
As I kept driving, it was hard to focus my eyes on the road ahead. I knew the beauty of that sunrise was fleeting and I didn’t want to miss a minute of it. Then I realized this is often how I live my life – looking in the rearview mirror. See for me, it’s often been easier to find comfort in clearly seeing how God’s provision has played out in my past rather than excitedly trusting there will be beauty in what lies ahead.
It’s been almost two years since those words Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia wrecked my sense of security. Looking in the rearview mirror, I can now see God’s fingerprints on it all, every day, every trial, and every triumph. On this side of things, I can clearly see the blessings in the battle and could write about them for days. But the trouble is, that in the middle of the battle, it is sometimes too scary to look forward. The trouble looks too daunting, the road too dark and the unknowns too overwhelming.
Sometimes I still lie awake at night and fight off the “what ifs” by looking in that rearview mirror and reminding myself of all the ways that He has provided everything we have needed. The same power, provision, mercy and wisdom that causes the sun to rise is the same power, provision, mercy and wisdom that will sustain me in whatever life has in store for me. I don’t know what those circumstances will look like or feel like, or how they will challenge and grow me, but I do know for certain that He is unchanging and He will be with me.
So let’s enjoy that sunrise (or sunset) in our rearview mirrors and join me in using it as a reminder that the most beautiful of experiences lie on the road before us. His grace is constantly arriving and is all-sufficient.
Is there something that visually helps remind you of God’s caring hand on your life? I’d love to hear about your sunset moments!