TV That Hits Home

I am a sucker for the TV show This is Us. From the very first episode, I’ve been captured by its creative genuineness and frequently moved to tears. I have grown to love the characters, especially the three siblings.

But, I have a confession. I have not found the character of their mother, Rebecca, as endearing. My mind has been telling me I should be cheering for her, Instead, I question her decisions and her parenting ability.

I’m not 100 percent sure why I’m so critical of Rebecca, but in some ways, I think it ties back to my relationship with my own mother. Much like Rebecca does for her kids, my mom fought fiercely for me. She was my biggest cheerleader and provided for me as best as she could. She was self-sacrificing, smart and faithful in serving God.

But Mom was also broken. Her biological mother died when she was a teenager and as the oldest of four, life wasn’t easy. The instability of her upbringing was no one’s fault, but I see now that it left her desperately insecure. Sadly, I am certain my mother believed she wasn’t enough.

She believed, particularly early in her life, that she needed the love and approval of a man to be whole. The responsibility of providing for children only reinforced her dependence. So she stayed with men long after she should have left. She endured more physical and emotional pain than she deserved. She did all she could to simply survive.

It took me a lot of years to appreciate Mom’s courage and strength. Sometimes it was hard for me to understand her decisions. Oftentimes I wanted her to be stronger, more outspoken. I needed her to think as much of herself as she thought of me. I needed her to be enough so I could be enough.

And as time went on and we both became older and wiser, I realized she was doing the very best she could. Meanwhile, she grew in her faith and in her confidence. I see now that God’s faithful love to her changed her heart, as she yielded her dependence to Him instead of a man. I see now that she was scared and sad. And I understand that she, like every parent - including Rebecca, didn’t have it all figured out.

Is there something that you need to make peace with from your past? Connecting the dots can be painful. Can you find the courage, and share it with others?