Things No One Tells you about Motherhood

On this, my 22nd Mother’s Day, I can say without hesitation that no other life experience has changed me and challenged me like motherhood. Because it’s Mother’s Day weekend, we’ve all heard, seen or read the poignant points of motherhood. So for today, here are three things no one ever tells you about being a mom.

1. Being a mom will break your heart

I look back on the day Madison was born and realize that among all the tidbits of advice I received, no one ever said, “Congratulations, this little human will break your heart.” But someone should have because being a mother means you watch the world try to take away everything you’ve poured into your children. It means that when their hearts are broken by the sin and disappointment of the world, so is yours. It also means, heaven forbid, that some moms have to survive this day with a child separated from them by death. I am praying for these moms especially today.

2. You’re the Best Mom for your Child

We were being rolled out of the hospital when I broke down and admitted to my nurse that I was scared to death. I didn’t know how to be a mom. In that moment, faced with taking this little life home to raise for the next 18 years, all I could think about was what I didn’t know - and it was overwhelming.

Then my nurse, Donna, bent down in front of me, looked me in the eyes and said, “Calm down. Trust me, you’re going to be the best mom this baby has ever had.” I’ve thought of these words frequently over the past 22 years - during times when I have failed miserably and during times when my heart was full because I had experienced a parenting win. Either way, Donna’s words have taught me that our children don’t expect perfection, they simply appreciate our best efforts.

3. Motherhood Is Messy

I had been a mom for almost 24 hours when I realized nursing babies isn’t for sissies! It turns out that this takes some real getting used to! To help ease the pain, my nurse brought in teabags and warm water and suggested I soak the teabags on the aforementioned body parts. Desperate, I did exactly what she suggested without even once considering that in doing so, I was literally making tea all over the new, white nightgown my mother had given me to wear in the hospital. The vision I had of me nursing my sweet baby in this beautiful gown was quickly replaced by the painful reality of sore nipples and a ruined gown. It was the first of many, many moments where my expectation and reality didn’t align.

Motherhood is like this. It’s messy. Each day stretches us and grows us, and the process is rarely pretty. But boy, oh boy, is it worth it because all of these days are a part of our beautiful, messy motherhood stories. Today, I celebrate my story and yours.

What is something you wish someone would have told you about motherhood?