Did Mother Teresa really have perfect faith?

When you think of someone whose life defines Christian love, Mother Teresa probably comes to mind. 

Known for her dedication to the poor and marginalized in India and around the globe, I have always assumed that Mother Teresa must have had a special connection to God. How else could a single woman in the 1940s -’90s have accomplished so much good and pointed so many people to a life of devotion to God? 

Called on a train ride in 1946 to aid who she called "the unwanted, the unloved, the uncared for," Mother Teresa never doubted God’s claim and desire for her life. For more than 50 years, she trusted this calling and translated it into action. She and her following established a hospice, centers for the blind, aged and disabled, and a leper colony. In 1979, she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in recognition of her work that she characterized, "in bringing help to suffering humanity." 

Much to my surprise, Mother Teresa’s personal letters and documents that were released to the public in 2003 reveal a deep longing for a greater connection to Jesus. As early as 1953 and at least through 1995 (she died in 1997), she confesses of an empty place where she questioned God’s love for her, as well as his existence. “I have no faith...I am told God loves me…Nothing touches my soul.” 

Eventually, as she continued decade after decade faithfully serving the call on her life, she came to understand the reason for this longing. “I have come to love the darkness,” she wrote, because it allowed her a deeper connection to the loneliness and longings of those she served. For her, as one author puts it, “...enduring this darkness and sharing in the suffering of the poor put her in membership with Jesus.”

Simply put, God used Mother Teresa’s sadness to allow her for deeper connections to the pain of others and to her purpose. 

I’m not sure if you have parts of your faith journey or life that are messy like mine, but if you do, it turns out we are in good company. I hope you too will be encouraged by the life of Mother Teresa and trust the calling God has on your life. He remains faithful and in control, even when we don’t feel it or understand Him.