I want life to go back to normal.
As I was in the kitchen this morning putting brown sugar in the oatmeal cooking on the stove, I found myself yelling inside my head, “I just want this to be over! I want life to go back to normal.”
Surely I’m not the only one hearing these voices? Wouldn’t we all welcome a normal day of hectic frustrations?
This desire to fast forward to the end of a painful situation isn’t a new one to me. In fact, as soon as it came to my frustrated mind this morning, I recognized it like an old scab that hasn’t quite healed. See, I spent the better part of every day for a solid year thinking this same thought - desperately wanting Matt to be cured of his cancer and for life to go back to “normal.”
I’ve since learned that cancer patients and their families, like many people who survive traumatic experiences, create “new normals.” There is no going back to life before IT happened, whatever it might be. Much like cancer for our family, COVID-19 will shape our entire world’s future and how we see it.
In some ways, it reminds me of 9/11 and how our country collectively felt our vulnerability - a feeling most of us would prefer to avoid. It exposes our inability to control this world and even our own personal safety and health. This lack of control isn’t new; it’s just harder to deny when we see our friends losing their employment, our loved ones getting sick and our retirement funds disappear. It creates a wealth of unknowns and in some moments, it simply feels like it’s too much to bear.
If this is where you find yourself today, please keep reading. I so desperately want you to know that we will get through this; we will get to the other side. For all who are followers of Jesus, we know how our story ends. No, we don’t know the when and the how. No, we don’t know the why behind the coronavirus and every other trial that threatens our cushy and controlled lives. But we do know the who: God and he remains in control.
People sometimes ask me why we stayed devoted to our faith in God during Matt’s illness. The answer is simple and I think it has implications for all of us today in this health crisis: God is still our ONLY hope. He’s our HOPE for yesterday, for today and for tomorrow. He’s our Creator, Savior and our help in this time of very present trouble. His presence is real; it’s abiding and comforting during the storm.
During this time of fear and quarantine, consider ways to experience Him anew. Be still and know that He IS God. Listen to worship music. Pray with a friend. Host an online Bible study. Let it be an opportunity to restructure your thinking and your time as you grow in your trust that our good God remains in control and will see us to the other side.