Where do I End and You Begin?

I want people around me to be OK. In fact, often times, I need people around me to be OK so I can be OK.

If this resonates with you, then welcome to the club! You, like me, likely have issues establishing healthy boundaries.This leaves us anxious and overwhelmed, trying desperately to control the lives of those around us. It leaves us trying to be God. And we fail - miserably.

There are lots of good definitions for boundaries out there, but I still gravitate toward Cloud and Towndsend who discuss boundaries as property lines. Unlike visible fences that separate our yard from our neighbors, boundaries can be more difficult to see but are no less important.

It’s fairly intuitive that things inside our property lines, including our thoughts, feelings and actions, are our responsibility. What is more difficult is realizing that things OUTSIDE our property lines (which includes other people’s thoughts, feelings and actions) are NOT our responsibility.

Sometimes I spend a lot of time, money and energy tending to other people’s yards, not noticing that the grass in my own is turning brown and dying. How about you? Do you ever find yourself so concerned about being the God over the Universe that you can’t bloom where you’re planted?

This week’s episode of The Problem With Perfect tackles this important and difficult subject in an effort to empower ourselves to set healthy boundaries. In it, we discuss how to know when it's time to say no, how that looks in real life and what to do when our boundary upsets someone we love.

Please give it a listen, share your thoughts and even tag someone below who could benefit from the conversation. Let’s all help each other find more joy during this “the happiest season of all.”