Make It Stop

My heart is heavy today. I’m weeping for a woman I’ve never met.

She is Tyler Trent’s mother and she began 2019 grieving the death of her 20-year-old son, I grieve with her.

In case you don’t know, Tyler was an inspirational student at Purdue who loved life, people and the Boilmaker’s football team. In his final time here on earth, he courageously fought against a rare bone cancer while finding the energy to make the world around him a better place. His legacy will live on through the $100,000 his foundation raised. .

But none of that changes the utter devastation that his family is feeling.

I stood on the edge of that same cliff wondering what it would be like if my son lost his battle to cancer, but he didn’t. He is here with me, growing stronger from this disease that took so much from him. Tyler is not. It’s hard to make sense of all my emotions; guilt that my son survived, thankfulness for his remission, fearfulness that “it” will return like Tyler’s did.

One emotion I feel clearly: the torturing anguish that his mother must be experiencing.

I can’t keep the tears from coming or the thoughts of others I know who are also courageously forging ahead without that someone they love. All I have to offer is a prayer to God for His comfort to surround them. I wish I could do more, so I sit in trust that He will deliver what I can’t.

Grief is inescapable in this life. We don’t just lose people we love; we lose relationships, jobs, dreams and our health. We lose our way. We lose our faith.

But even amidst the sorrow and despair, God sees you – and me. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, even when you cannot see it, He never stops caring for us. He never forsakes us and delivers on His promise that NOTHING can separate us from His love.

On my darkest, saddest days during Matt’s repeated hospitalizations and set-backs, He never left me. I was completely broken and as physically and emotionally weak as I’ve ever been. He was my strength. He met me there, day after day, and breathed life into my deflated body and heart. When I had absolutely nothing to offer except the ashes that had become my life, he was faithful.

This gives me hope for all of us who are hurting. I am praying that God meets you in your sorrow and that you have a heart-changing encounter with Him, restoring your joy. Would you join me in this prayer for yourself or someone you know who needs it? And let me know if you'd like me to be praying something specific for you too.

Photo Credit: Purdue Athletics