Don’t Yuck My Yum

Food and shame. It’s as old as old - especially for women. It goes way back to the OS - the original sin in Genesis 3. But make no mistake, this combination is as destructive as ever. And it might be starting sooner than you think.

I was recently talking to a friend who was frustrated - and rightfully so - by a recurring conversation at her daughter’s second-grade lunch table. Day after day, a fellow classmate was telling her daughter what was wrong with her food choices; Lunchables aren’t healthy; Turkey from the deli counter is processed and full of preservatives; Meat causes cancer. After a few weeks of these “enlightening” discussions, my friend’s 8-year-old daughter was questioning every bite she was putting into her mouth, worried that it was either going to make her fat or kill her.

There are lots of lessons to be learned from this story. Should we educate our children about healthy, well-balanced meals? Absolutely. Should we do our best to limit empty calories? Of course! Should we offer a variety of foods and create an appetite for exploration with food? By all means (although I was never very good at that last one - just ask my kiddos)!

But should we also be as careful to consider how to help our children enjoy food? To see it as a gift that points to our Father who is our Daily Bread. And can we let our kids learn how to make good choices while also teaching them to not be judgmental of the choices of others? Maybe we could encourage our kids not to let others yuck on their yum and likewise not to yuck on others’ yum. (I totally stole this wise phrase from a friend!)

What struck me most about this story was the generational shame it generated. Not only was the 8-year-old embarrassed and worried by what was in her lunchbox - so was her 40-year old mother. The entire fiasco prompted my friend to question her parenting, based on what foods she was feeding her children. I was sad for her. She’s a great mom.

There’s so much pressure with food - not just what we are eating - but what we are feeding our families! I hope you can read this and give yourself grace, knowing that an occasional Lunchable doesn’t define your value as a parent.