Crazy Busy for What?

I was cleaning out a cabinet in my laundry room last week when I stumbled upon a calendar from 2009. I had made it using pictures of the kids from the year before and looking at them, I couldn’t help but think about how much they have changed in a decade. But what struck me more than the images of my pre-teen kids was the list of activities that riddled every day of the week.

End of school parties. Baseball practices. Soccer practices. Tutoring. Camps. Birthday parties. Softball games. Baseball games. Soccer tournaments. Track meets. Dentist appointments. The list went on and on.

Where did we find the time, money and energy to accomplish all this? Did we ever eat supper at home? When did we spend time together just being? How did I work and manage all these activities? And most importantly, why? Why did we have our kids so incredibly busy?

It’s a question that has haunted me, probably because I don’t like the answer. The truth is I wasn’t scheduling every minute of my kids’ lives because they wanted it that way. I was doing it because it made me happy, or at least I thought it would make me happy. I wanted my kids to have every opportunity to be whatever they wanted or were talented enough to be. I wanted them to reach their full potential. Heck, I would have even told you I wanted them to utilize the gifts God had given them.

It turns out, I got this all wrong. I was so busy worrying about what my kids would do instead of considering how they would do it. Sure, I wanted them to be kind, Godly contributors to society. But I never challenged them to consider how they would impact the lives of others. I never encouraged them to choose a path based on how it might bless others. Instead, I was more focused on what blessing would come their way.

Sadly, I never encouraged them to dream about how they might change the world. I never told them that true success in this world won’t come in a title or a salary, but rather in how they love people around them. I didn’t help them see that their biggest potential lies in their hearts. I was too busy making them smarter, more well-rounded athletes.

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t a terrible mom! I did all this because I love my kids and was imperfectly loving them as best as I could. My brokenness permeated all my motivations, even unknowingly with my children.

The great news is that God makes our crooked paths straight and by His grace alone, our kids found their way. They have each chosen selfless career paths; Madison a nurse and Matt a teacher. I’m proud of them for making those choices. But more importantly, I’m proud because what they really want is to make a meaningful, personal impact in the life of another person.

And that is an appointment worth putting on the calendar every day of the week!